One struggle stood apart from the rest of the list. It was mentioned four times more than any other struggle women said they faced in life. Self-condemnation. To blame oneself. Negative self-talk. Placing judgement on yourself.
Every woman I know has struggled with this issue to some extent in life. Some more than others. I have gone through seasons in my life where this was a big battle for me. It’s a dark and lonely place to be.
- I am not thoughtful enough
- I’m not a good friend
- I will never be a good enough mom
- My husband deserves more than the wife I am
- I’m not a good enough Christian for God to really use
- I’m not compassionate enough
- I’m not skinny enough, or fit enough, or beautiful enough
- I should have known this would happen
- It’s all my fault
- If I were a better…….
- I am not enough
These are just a few thoughts than have gone through my head before. Thoughts that scream I am just not enough for the people in my life and for my God. The truth is . . . I am not enough. I never have been and I never will be. I will never please everyone in my life. I will never be good enough to deserve the life I have been blessed with. Somewhere along the road I was conditioned to believe that I am expected to be perfect and always “enough” no matter the circumstances. Who planted those thoughts? Where did this come from?
I don’t think a week goes by where I don’t hear or see someone (usually a Christian) say to someone facing hard times, “You can handle this because God wouldn’t give you more than you could handle”. Have you said this line before? I have. But it is a lie. I believe lines like this are one reason we feel we should always be able to handle everything tossed our way. And when we don’t it must be because we just aren’t good enough, right? This is so twisted! God didn’t create us to be God. God created us with a built-it longing and need to trust in Him. Where in the Bible does it say, “when times get tough you can handle it on your own”?
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalm 34:17
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever Psalms 146:5-6
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. Romans 8:1
You are His beautiful masterpiece. You are not enough BUT GOD is. There was condemnation BUT GOD gave Himself to set you free from that condemnation. What a sweet, sweet thing that is! God’s grace and mercy has rescued us from all of those negative thoughts. Those thoughts are not from Him, they are from our enemy and we must put an end to them. If we choose to stay in those self condemning thoughts it is as if we are telling God the sacrifice Jesus made for us was simply not enough.
He was, and is, and always will be ENOUGH and through that YOU are enough too!
This post is linked up with Jesus & Coffee and Soul Survival.
Chelsey Coffey says
When you bullet pointed those thoughts that have gone through your head, it’s like you were peaking at my own diary! And then you said, “I think perhaps God allows us to go through times that are tough not so that we can figure it out on our own, but so we realize that we so desperately need Him.” – AMEN! Yes….. this is what I have been learning as my faith keeps getting stronger. I learn that I need Him more and more. The more I depend on Him – the better I do become….. and the more okay I am with not being perfect!
Love ya, sister! So thankful for you and your words.
Chelsey, thank you! I think you got it just perfect. “The more okay I am with not being perfect!” Love you too friend! I feel like we are best buds and we have never physically met. Love how God made our paths cross. Have a wonderful week!
Chelsey Coffey says
Thanks Jen! I feel that way as well – I hope you have a wonderful week too.
Yep. Was just there the other night. I’d yelled at my daughter — let a few very “unpleasants” slip off my tongue — and the regret and self-condemnation began. Satan had set his noose, and I stuck my tongue right in there! But the thing is, I made the choice. In those few seconds before I let the words spill off my tongue – my heart KNEW they were wrong to say … but my sinful nature chose to say them anyway. Ugh … now talk about even MORE self-condemnation setting in!! But I can stay stuck in that noose — strangling myself with regret — or I can let the truth of God’s word set me free. And the truth is God also saw those words spilling from my mouth before I spoke them. He knew I would fail. He let me go there. Why? Because He also knew the shame I would feel — and that I would turn to Him for forgiveness. He knew He would use that terrible choice to teach me that I need to pray and focus on taming my tongue. Romans 8:28 is so true. So long as we continually pursue righteousness and God’s way, He will use everything – even the worst in us – to change us for our good and His glory. Thank you, God!!
Love you Rebecca!
So, so much wisdom packed in here. Finding satisfaction in His sufficiency takes off so much pressure and gives such relief to all that self-condemnation. Thank you for these words!! #IntentionallyPursuing
Yes, it is a relief! Thank you for stopping by!