We are in for a treat today my friends! Please welcome Melissa Bronson to our family. She has become a great friend over the last few months as we are both members of Compel and will be attending the She Speaks conference this summer. Here poetic writing style leaves me breathless . . . and a bit jealous. . . every time I read her blog. So sit back with your coffee this morning and breath in her beautiful words.
I just can’t do it.
It’s misery when these words cross mind or lips. Emptiness fills and panic sets when we realize and admit our depleted resources. We cling until it’s just a few threads holding us above raging circumstance.
One by one. Threads snap.
Until the last thread gives, and we fall. Plunging and knowing, then, each Spiritless effort, every selfish attempt – worthless. We never held the key or possessed the ability to fix this. Him. Her. Them.
As I fall, my lungs fill with Him. He whispers, in that falling, failing moment, It’s not your fight.
“But, I want it to be.”
“Because I want to fix it.”
“Because I want to be like You. I want to be You.”
There it is.
He shakes His holy head and places His enormously powerful hand beneath you. You land in infinite Grace, and He covers you. You breathe and rest and see for the first time and forever that there is no place you’d rather be than in the center of His Providence. You realize the utter foolishness borne from the wish to be fixer because in doing so, you want to be Him and thus create an idol of mirror image – you.
Yes. Every day. Every time we say, “I can do this,” or “I will fix this,” we snatch it from His hand, and we make another mess. It never works. Really, when’s the last time it has? That relationship? His addiction? Her sickness? Your own bitterness?
Worthless idols running on empty. Never completely releasing the grip on self when Answer is right there. He reaches out, and we, in pride, pull back and say, “I’ve got this.”
No, you don’t. Neither do I.
Faith means opening hands, releasing grip on every burden, challenge, trial and surrendering each at the feet of Abba Father, trusting His promise to fill every need for each of His children. Pain runs deep, brothers and sisters, deep and wide, but so does His love. Deeper and wider than any and everything under heaven. All of it. And it’s when we release and hold hands open and bare before Him that we find Strength, Wisdom, Peace. Because He fills us.
When I finally say, “I can’t,” He smiles and says, Good. Now, give it to Me. He takes it back where it belongs. Where he and she and they belong – not in your hands or mine, but His – and He does what Fathers do. He fixes it not as we would, but infinitely better. According to His laid plans. Plans laid before stars thrown or mountains built. Perfect plans.
Will you give it to Me?
Finally, I whisper, “Yes.”
And in this whispered surrender, He gives me Life.
Melissa blogs at http://www.mdbronson.comand would love to connect with you via Facebook or Twitter. She has been married for 17 years and has 4 beautiful daughters. She writes about life and is completely in love with her Savior!
“Where he and she and they belong – not in your hands or mine, but His – and He does what Fathers do. He fixes it not as we would, but infinitely better. According to His laid plans. Plans laid before stars thrown or mountains built. Perfect plans.” I have a “he, she and they” who I’ve been trying to control. These words were a great reminder to release them into God’s perfect and loving plans.
Anna Smit says
So, so true: “You realize the utter foolishness borne from the wish to be fixer because in doing so, you want to be Him and thus create an idol of mirror image – you.” And oh how my heart has been convicted of this time and time again…to let go and surrender all into God’s hands, for : “He fixes it not as we would, but infinitely better. According to His laid plans. Plans laid before stars thrown or mountains built. Perfect plans.” Exactly. Something I need to repeatedly remind myself of. Thank you for sharing these words of Melissa, Jen.
Such powerful truths aren’t they Anna. I am moved just reading them again in your comments. I am so thankful that His plans are better than mine!